


keep making trouble (til you find what you love)

by Heronfem



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, Falling In Love, Families of Choice, Friendship, Homophobia, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Team as Family, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 06:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13676289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heronfem/pseuds/Heronfem
Summary: Appearances aren't always what they seem.In which Bokuto is the family disappointment and does his best despite his struggles, Akaashi has an enormous crush and wants to help, and they fall end over end in love surrounded by a shower of owl and vulture feathers.





	keep making trouble (til you find what you love)

Wings change all the time, regardless of who you are. At least, that's what Bokuto Koutarou has been told.

Akaashi Keiji's wings are ink black and enormous when Koutarou meets him. They suit him, big and soft, with massive flight-feathers that nearly trail to the ground and a highly polished shine. He's incredibly majestic, everyone says so, pretty soon-to-be setter Akaashi with his big wings and soft eyes and elegant long hands. Koutarou has watched him from a distance, because honestly with his great big wings and his perfect manners he's a little intimidating. But curiosity wins out, eventually, especially when Akaashi's officially brought onto the team after showing up to try outs and knocks everyone out of the park in every single position.

Koutarou immediately likes him.

“Your wings are really nice!”

Koutarou curses himself, but Akaashi smiles slightly. It's after their first real practice, just about everybody is still intimidated by the pretty first year, and Koutarou just wants to talk to him so bad it hurts. “Thank you. As are yours.”

It's probably a lie. His wings... they aren't pretty. He's missing pinfeathers, and they're always out of order because nobody preens him unless he begs, and they're short and ungainly and plain-boring-brown. But Koutarou doesn't mind the lie, because they've struck up a conversation and his stomach is doing flips but he's going to talk to Akaashi and befriend him one way or another.

“What are yours?” Koutarou asks anyway, because he really is curious. The black is really lovely, but he doesn't recognize them immediately.

Akaashi's pleasant expression fades a little. “Vulture,” he says, looking away a little. Koutarou understands. There's a bit of stigma around vulture wings- usually they develop when people are lonely to the worst extremes. Akaashi seems to be waiting for him to comment about that.

“I think that's _way_ cooler than mine,” he says, flapping them. A bit of down falls to the floor. “They're just wren.”

Akaashi smiles at him, though, his eyes lighting up again. “I like wrens. Wrens are adorable.”

Koutarou shuts up, and maybe makes a squeaking noise, but then the captain's calling and it's time for stretches.

As the school year started, things change. People find new friends, lose old ones, find new crushes and hobbies. Koutarou finds he suddenly has a friend in Akaashi after that day at practice, who joins him for lunch every day and who likes other things besides volleyball- like studying, and books, and knitting. Knitting, Koutarou quickly learns, is actually very cool. Two weeks into the school year and he's been gifted a hat and scarf of amazing quality for when it got cold, in a brilliant white and black zig-zag pattern. ( _Like your hair_ , Akaashi said. Knitting is very, very cool.) Akaashi is smart, in the college prep classes, and Koutarou reads over his shoulder and has Akaashi explain things to him because he has a nice voice and for some reason it just clicks when he says it.

And then everyone starts molting, because of all the changing, and there are feathers everywhere in the hall, and people out for days at a time to get through the worst of it. Akaashi's wings don't change, sleek and black and big as ever. Koutarou's so happy to have a friend he barely notices that he's joined their number until Akaashi looks over and frowns.

“Akaashi? What is it?!” Koutarou tries to turn and look.

“You're missing a very large patch of feathers, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says softly, reaching over. Koutarou doesn't jolt as he runs his fingers through the eternally jostled feathers through sheer force of will. He can't remember the last time someone else helped him with them. Akaashi pulls his hand away and there are feathers in it. “It appears you're molting.”

“Oh. Huh. That's never happened before!”

Akaashi frowns. “You've always had wren wings?”

“Yeah!” Koutarou flaps his wings a little to make them rustle, and stretches them out. A few of the other primaries fall out and he winces. “I've always had wren wings. I think they came in when I was 5?”

He misses the look of pain that crosses over Akaashi's face.

oOo

Molting is the worst.

He's never had a proper one before, but now he knows why everyone whines when it happens. It's itchy and uncomfortable and his feathers are falling out by the handful. He sprawls on his bed and feels like he's been tortured as the secondaries fall out. He looks horrific, he knows, and he just wants the new feathers to come in and have done with it. He'd thought that they were just going to be wren again, but there's slight banding on the tips that are poking out and he just wants them to hurry up and come in.

“No,” he tells the phone, too tired to even yell, “no, I'm not coming.”

“You sound bad,” Manyuda-senpai tells him, sounding sympathetic. He's a good senpai, nice and patient and a really great middle blocker. “You've never had a full molt before, have you? Where all the bones shift and you get all new wings?”

“Nope.” Koutarou fans what remains of his wings, watching a few more pinfeathers and three flight feathers fall. “This is _awful_. You've done this a couple times, right? Is it supposed to be so itchy and painful?”

“Yep. Hang in there. It'll get better, and so will your straight.”

Koutarou hangs up.

His feathers are slow to come in, the bones shift awfully, and he tries his best to avoid his family while he's stuck at home feeling like death. His older siblings have nice wings- Madara has smooth, pretty peregrine falcon wings that match his wifes and Suzume has golden eagle wings. His mother's wings, giant bald eagle wings that drag on the floor, make him wonder what's wrong with him as he picks at his food that evening. His father, with his sleek black raven wings, makes a face when he sees more of the wren feathers around the house.

“I hope it's something better this time,” he overhears his father say to his mother when he goes to collect them from where they've fallen on the floor. “Honestly, a _wren_. It reflected poorly on us. At least Suzume has something decent, even if she isn't going to give us grandchildren.”

Wren wings, plain and boring- symbolic of a life of constant struggle and lack of familial love. 

Koutarou's always been the family disappointment. He isn't smart like Suzume and Madara are, he's loud, he's only really good at sports and has trouble focusing long enough to read. It's only through lots of hard work learning how to make him study and suffering through punishments that he's keeping up in his classes at all. He can pick up things so fast sometimes, things he's really interested in, but doing work on paper is difficult and frustrating. His grades are awful. His father has never cared about his accomplishments with volleyball, his mother thinks he'll get over it, and he thinks the last time they came to one of his games he was maybe 12. 

They don't care about the things he cares about. They never have. He's a stain on the family name, not being good at scholarly things. His father does things with stocks, his mother is a professor of physics. He can barely do long division and remembering kanji is impossible.

He doesn't sleep well as the feathers begin to emerge, horribly itchy and uncomfortable, but the spread of his soon-to-be wings is much bigger now. At least they won't be sparrow wings. 

After tossing turning, he gets up and goes for a run around 5 am while the neighborhood is quiet and still. The cold air is bracing, and he flaps his wings enough to kick up a bit of dust to loosen them up. They've become so long and broad, and when he folds them in they're still wide. He runs and runs and runs until his legs are burning, and only slows when he reaches a park with a bench. He drops onto it, and extends his wings to look at them. They're completely covered in down now, at least, the worst of the itching gone, and from what he can tell there's some banding on them. It's hard to see the whole thing, and he wonders what they're going to turn into.

Koutarou rests his head in his hands, watching as the sun slowly comes up, and feels like shit. 

He goes back to school that day. Laughs, smiles, jokes, and wants to hold Akaashi so bad it feels like it's killing him. He hates going home, he hates being trapped there. 

“I missed you, Akaashi!” he says, and rests his head on Akaashi's shoulder.

Akaashi smiles at him, huge black wings extending to wrap around him like a feathery blanket. “I missed you too.”

Manyuda-senpai takes one look at him and grounds him for the day, and Koutarou feels himself wilting. All he's looked forward to was volleyball. He likes volleyball, even if it isn't really _fun_. It's one of the few things he's good at, and Akaashi is there and he hasn't seen him in a bit. He doesn't want to go home. He desperately, desperately doesn't want to go home. Koutarou gnaws at his lip, nervous and upset, and then Akaashi is standing over him, smiling faintly. 

“Come on, Bokuto-san,” he says, “we're going to run.”

So they run, and run, and run, and when it's dark and cold Akaashi takes him to his home to stay the night instead of having him go home.

Akaashi's family is well off and live in a big house with vaulted ceilings and lots of light, and Koutarou loves it immediately. He looks around in awe, and Akaashi has to chide him to take his shoes off in the genkan. 

Akaashi's parents are both home, and both of them have big black vulture wings that gleam in the overhead lights, and Koutarou eats dinner with them. They laugh, and smile, and when Koutarou wonders if he should help them with dishes they wave him off. The house is very quiet but Koutarou has never felt safer. He watches them, wondering when they're going to start laughing about this or that, wondering when they're going to demand an explanation of Akaashi's day, but Akaashi doesn't seem at all tense. Everyone goes to the living room after dinner, and Koutarou watches in amazement as Akaashi's parents settle on the couch and start preening each other. 

“Your parents actually preen each other?” he asks, his voice a little small for once. 

Akaashi gives him a long look. “Yours don't?”

“No.”

Akaashi sits on the couch and pats the seat next to him. “Come here. I'll help preen yours.”

Koutarou stares. “You will?”

“Bokuto-san, do I ever do anything I don't want to do?”

“Well- no... but-”

Akaashi gives him a look, and Koutarou meekly sits down. Fusazane, Akaashi's father, smiles at them. He's a tall man, very handsome, with soft eyes and a soft smile. Ayumi, Akaashi's mother, looks a lot like Akaashi himself, but Akaashi's eyes are from his father. They're so beautiful and so gentle, but Koutarou thinks they're probably both very smart and very strong. 

“Your wings have changed recently, I see,” Fusazane says as something pops up on the TV thanks to Akaashi grabbing the remote. It's just enough stimulus to make his brain even out, and Koutarou's shoulders relax, just a bit. He can't really sit still, moving back and forth restlessly, but Akaashi just moves with him. “Do you know what they are?”

“No,” Koutarou says. “I can't see them well enough yet. I know they're barred though! So they'll be fancy when they come in all the way. My last wings were wren wings, which weren't very interesting. I like your wings, they're so big and pretty.”

“Keiji's wings used to be white dove,” Ayumi tells him, and Koutarou gasps softly. 

“That must have been _beautiful_ ,” he says, and freezes as Akaashi's fingers start carding through the down on his wings. He hasn't had anyone preen him properly since he was in maybe his second year of middle school- his parents stopped when he turned about six, losing patience since he couldn't hold still for them. He's forgotten how nice it feels, and he pulls his legs up against his chest as his wings spread. 

“They were,” Ayumi says, tweaking a feather back into order on Fusazane's wings. “They just changed last year. Ours have been vulture for a very long time now- how long, Fusa-chan?”

Koutarou nearly chokes on his tongue seeing Fusazane smile at the pet name.

“Oh, I think since our engagement.”

“They were very striking against the white suit and dress,” Ayumi says with a smile, and Koutarou's eyes go very wide as she leans in and gently kisses Fusazane. He's never seen people so openly affectionate in a home. He's seen romantic movies, of course, but his parents don't even hold hands or hug, let alone kiss. People must be wrong about what vulture wings mean, because Akaashi's parents are so in love it's amazing.

Akaashi's cleaning the down away so smoothly, and he looks back to find that real feathers are starting to be exposed. They're tan and brown, barred like he'd expected, and absolutely lovely. He coos at the sight of them, eyes going wide. 

“They're so pretty,” he whispers, and Akaashi keeps smoothing them out and clearing off the down. Slowly, slowly, his new wings start to emerge. 

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says after his parents leave to go do whatever it is they do in the evenings, “when's the last time anyone helped you preen?”

“I think maybe three or four years ago,” Koutarou says without thinking, spreading his wings to look at the pretty designs on them. On the tan, in between the bars, they're also speckled and just so lovely. He likes them a lot. “Say, Akaashi, what do you think they are? I think it's an owl!”

“It's a great horned owl,” Akaashi says, and Koutarou goes still as Akaashi hooks his chin over Koutarou's shoulder. “I've seen them before.”

Great horned owl. Koutarou runs his fingers over his feathers, awed. He's not a little wren anymore, he's becoming something better and stronger. The full flight feathers have yet to come in, but his wings are going to be huge when they're full. “Great Horned Owl...” he whispers, happy. 

“Why didn't you have anyone preen you for so long?” Akaashi asks. 

“No one wanted to,” Koutarou says, pulling his wing as far forward as possible. “I did the best I could, but I'm bad at holding still, so my parents stopped. And then the last friend who was, you know, like a preening friend, he moved schools.”

“That explains why your feathers were gone,” Akaashi murmurs, and Koutarou shudders with pleasure as Akaashi buries his fingers in the incredibly soft new feathers. “Great horned owl wings aren't very common, you know.”

“Yeah! They're going to be so pretty when they're fully grown in,” Koutarou says, beaming. “Don't you think so Akaashi?”

“I agree, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi is gentle as he loosens the down, and Koutarou sighs happily. 

When they finally sleep, Koutarou watches as Akaashi curls up and those beautiful black wings settle on his back. 

Great horned owl wings have their own stigmas attached- that of someone wise, that of someone strong. They're beautiful and enormous, strong and agile and fast. 

Koutarou has the strength, but he's not so sure about that wisdom thing.

oOo

His mom laughs.

“Look at you,” she says, looking at him critically. “All fluffy still while the real thing comes in. Great horned owl, hmm? I suppose even the universe can have a sense of humor, at least it matches that ridiculous hair of yours. Owls are supposed to be smart, Koutarou, so you'd better start studying.”

Koutarou pulls in his wings and ducks his head, feeling very small. 

He goes to school the next day and keeps his wings tucked in tight, stays quiet in his classes, takes notes when his brain isn't a whirring mess of upset, and when it's lunch he's so relieved to see Akaashi when they finally get outside he almost cries with relief. Akaashi waits until after they've eaten to tug him over closer, so that Koutarou's chest is practically pressed to his left arm while his right hand preens through Koutarou's wing.

“Something happened at home, yes?” Akaashi says quietly.

“Yeah.” Koutarou turns his head so he's practically curled under Akaashi's chin. “Mom says the universe can make mistakes too.”

Akaashi's hand goes still for a moment. 

“I don't think so,” he says, and his voice is almost icy. Koutarou's wings twitch in again, startled at how _angry_ Akaashi sounds. Akaashi strokes over one of them in apology. “I'm sorry for startling you. But no. You have the wings that you should have.”

“You're sure?”

Akaashi gently strokes down his wings. “I'm sure.”

When they go to practice that day, Konoha is finally back from his own molt, and he has starling wings, bright and colorful and iridescent like starlight under a microscope. Koutarou coos in delight, and Konoha stretches his wings out so they can get the full view. He has a strange look on his face as Koutarou marvels at them, and Akaashi looks like he might be hiding a smile.

“They're so beautiful,” Koutarou says, fingers itching to touch, but he doesn't dare. They're so fine and graceful he feels like he might damage them if he touches them. He's clumsy sometimes, dangerous with fragile things, and Konoha's feathers are fine and elegant. “Like stars! And they're so shiny and rainbow, they're so pretty.”

“Starlings are awful,” Konoha tells him. “They're mean little scavengers.”

“So?” Koutarou says, eyes transfixed at the iridescent shimmer. “You're not a starling. You're Konoha! You just have starling wings and they're _so pretty_ , wow.”

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says, gently touching his arm. “We should warm up.”

“Right!” Koutarou bites his lip as Konoha pulls his wings in. “I wish I had fancy rainbow wings.”

Konoha's face does something very odd, but he smiles and for once it's a real smile, warm and happy. “Owl wings are cool too.”

“Yeah, but _rainbows_ ,” Koutarou says wistfully, and Akaashi drags him to get started on running. He doesn't remember until after he's whooping with delight at a magnificent spike that starling wings are supposedly a marker that someone's untrustworthy. He considers that as they shower after practice, and when he gets out of the water and shakes off he finds that Konoha's still there, waiting for him. 

“You don't care, do you?” Konoha says without preamble. Everyone else has left the changing room. “You don't care what they're supposed to mean.”

“Why?” Koutarou towels off the worst of the water in his hair. “You're you! Your wings just changed. I like these ones better.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” Koutarou says, and smiles at him. “You look so fancy! I mean, I liked it when you had the cute chickadee wings, but these are better. You should stand out more! You deserve to be seen.”

Konoha's face does the funny thing again. “So do you. And you deserve to be happy.”

Koutarou cocks his head, confused. “I am happy.”

“Yeah, but you deserve to be happy all the time,” Konoha says, and sighs. He looks like he's happy, though, even though he's still got his thinking face on. “Hey. Bokuto?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

Koutarou nods, confused, but Konoha claps him on the shoulder and leaves the locker room. Koutarou gets dressed and leaves, and finds Akaashi waiting for him outside the gym on a bench, his legs swinging as he looks up at a tree. 

“Akaaaashi, what're you still doing here?” Koutarou demands, confused.

“Come home with me again,” Akaashi says without a trace of embarrassment. Koutarou squeaks out an affirmative, and holds out his hand to help Akaashi up. Akaashi takes it, and doesn't let go until they're at his house.

The school year begins and it falls into a familiar pattern. Koutarou spends more time at the Akaashi house than his own, his mother not caring that he's gone and the Akaashi family happy to have him there. He and Akaashi never really talk about the hand-holding thing, but it becomes a thing. Koutarou loves it, and he loves being allowed to preen Akaashi's wings when they're alone and he can bury his fingers in the soft feathers. His wings come fully in, big and beautiful, and Akaashi helps him keep them near perfectly spotless.

Koutarou is always training with the third years, always working with their current formation. Their third year libero is good at what he does, smart and powerful, but Koutarou doesn't like him. He's rude in a polite way, the worst kind of way, and Koutarou catches him laughing about how Sarukui looks a couple times. The captain is a powerful guy, but he ignores anything that doesn't have to do with his immediate team. He's a good setter, but Koutarou likes Akaashi's sets much, much better. Manyuda-senpai is great, but he's a middle blocker and not a captain or vice or anything, so there's not a lot that he can do.

The third years are smug about their chances with Bokuto on the team, and Koutarou does his best, but he still worries and wonders and does not like the pressure they put on him. 

“I don't like the third years,” Akaashi says out of nowhere a few days after a particularly good practice match with Shinzen. They're in Akaashi's room, and Akaashi is oh-so-gently straightening the little catches of his feathers while Koutarou turns into a melted puddle on the floor.

“Huh? Why not, Akaashi?” Koutarou's words are a bit slurred- he feels comfort-drunk and happy.

“They don't treat you well.” Akaashi's fingers have no points on the nails- not good for volleyball- but he still manages to itch all the little places that Koutarou doesn't even know need attention. “You never smile for real when you play with them. They use you like a weapon.”

“I'm the ace, I'm supposed to be our weapon!”

Koutarou goes still when Akaashi bends down and presses his lips to the back of his neck.

“Not like this,” Akaashi breathes against his skin, and Koutarou sucks in a rattling breath. It's overwhelming, being the center of Akaashi's attention. “They should treat you better. You're good at lifting others up, not just hitting things.”

Koutarou shudders with wants as Akaashi trails kisses down his neck. “Akaashi-”

“Keiji.”

Koutarou's mind shorts out. “Wha?”

Akaashi's hands smooth down his sides, reassuring and solid. “When we're alone, and _only_ when we're alone, call me Keiji.”

His mouth goes dry with the implications, and he carefully sits up. Akaashi is brilliantly red, looking at the floor. His wings are pressed up tight behind him, fluffed a little from obvious nerves. Koutarou climbs into his lap, wings dragging behind him, and Akaashi's hands automatically find his hips.

“ _Keiji_ ,” Koutarou breathes, and kisses him. Keiji's hands go tight on his hips as he kisses back, and Koutarou smiles against his mouth.

For the next three days he's walking on air, and they steal kisses where they can. Koutarou doesn't even mind going home, because for once he's actually happy about something, and his grades haven't been too bad since Keiji started quizzing him while they go for runs or work out- for some reason his brain remembers them better if he's doing something physical. His straight improves, his broads are becoming untouchable. He even manages a B on his latest test, in a wild turn of events.

And then, very suddenly, it hits him over dinner one evening with his parents. They usually don't talk to him unless they want to see his grades, and they've both been drinking heavily.

“Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with her,” his mother growls, taking another drink of her wine. “People have been ignoring what they want for years. If she'd just marry she'd stop being such a laughingstock. Honestly, a lesbian, in this family, and one that won't even toe the line and marry. Who cares if she only likes girls, she should do her part to honor the family name.”

“It's such a disappointment, I know,” his father sighs, and makes a face. “And she doesn't even want children. A pity.” 

They're both drunk, and Koutarou easily slips away from the table after cleaning things up and flees to his room in a cold sweat.

He was not supposed to hear that.

But he's heard it.

Suzume meets him for lunch on Sunday at a little place downtown that they've not been to before, dressed smart as ever and looking like someone who's actually put together. Which, she is. Suzume is smart and pretty and works as an editor and is head of her department. She's impressive like that. Her wings are big and immaculately groomed, color shifting between gold and brown when the sunlight hits them. She's very beautiful.

“I didn't expect you to call me,” she say as she sits down, her sleek black hair neatly tucked behind her ears. “I don't think we've talked for nearly two months.”

“I'm sorry,” Koutarou says, fiddling with his silverware. He's dressed nice, because he honestly likes fashion quite a bit, but he feels under dressed compared to his sister. “I was busy and I thought you'd be busy too.”

“Oh, I am, but I try to make sure you're alive ever so often,” Suzume says, and flags down a waiter. Koutarou drinks coffee and feels some of the jitters in his head ease. Akaashi's done a lot of research into what might be wrong with him, (the Akaashi in his head scolds _nothing's wrong, you're just different_ ) and they think the answer might be ADHD. He can't tell his parents, so he's been self medicating with caffeine pills and coffee. It seems to be working okay, but they're being as careful as possible about it. 

“So, what's up?” Suzume asks, pulling out a cigarette as the waiter brings them their sandwiches and leaves. 

“Mom says you're a lesbian.”

Suzume goes still for a moment, eyes hardening. “What if I am?”

Koutarou looks at the table. “What if I like boys? And maybe have a boyfriend? They're gonna be really mad, right?”

Suzume is dead silent, and he tentatively looks up. She's staring at him, open mouthed. 

“S-Suzume?”

“When the _fuck_ did this happen?” She demands, but there's a smile starting on her face. “Look at you, my baby bro getting all grown up. Tell me everything.”

It's such a relief, and Koutarou feels his mood sky rocket in delight as he tells her everything about Akaashi. They eat but keep talking, and Koutarou tells her all the things he's falling in love with Akaashi for, the preening and the hand-holding and how nice his family is, and how Akaashi treats him so well. Suzume coos over pictures on his phone, and Koutarou feels like he's normal for once. It's amazing. He's never been allowed to be normal before, not really.

“I like him,” Suzume announces when he finally feels like he can stop for breath instead of spewing everything everywhere. “But you're right. They'd be upset. It's shitty, but they're kind of awful people, and so's Madara.” 

“Oh.” He slumps a little, poking at his food. “What should I do?”

“What do you want to do?” Suzume counters. 

“That doesn't matter.”

Suzume gives him a long look. “Kou-chan, what you want _always_ matters.”

oOo

Akaashi is the one who suggests staying for a late practice, and Koutarou wholeheartedly agrees. Kissing is fun and so is getting handsy, but spiking is better for clearing his head. Besides, he relishes any chance he can get to practice with Akaashi properly instead of their current setter, who's going to retire after the first round of Interhigh. His straight is almost usable now, he has it pretty well practiced, but he still doesn't know how well it'll hold up in a real game.

It's Washio who finds them, and Koutarou comes down from a jump to find him watching from the door to the gym. He's still in his practice gear.

“Hey!” He calls, and smiles. Akaashi fetches another ball, looking over and nodding to Washio. “Are you staying late for personal practice too?”

Washio shrugs, walking into the gym. “I just didn't want to go home.”

“Want to play instead?” Koutarou immediately asks. He doesn't want to go home either. Home is awful and stressful and a place where he's starting to have nightmares about his father looking at him down his long nose and kicking him out.

Washio looks relieved. “Yeah. Let's.”

Washio has dependable robin wings, just like he is, and the next day he brings Komi, Sarukui, and Konoha with him to stay late. Koutarou can't quite help cooing over Sarukui's brilliant blue jay-bird wings as always, and that's when Akaashi suggests they all preen for a bit. There's a moment of hesitation before everyone sits down, and Koutarou so very, very carefully works his fingers through the soft, sleek feathers on Konoha's back. The gym is full of joking, Konoha ribbing Sarukui for falling down in front of a cute first year earlier. Koutarou wonders if this is what it's like to have a solid group of friends. He's had friends before, one-on-one friends, but never a group of people who all like each other. He's loud and obnoxious and obsessive-

“Hey, Bokuto, I'm not glass,” Konoha says with a laugh that startles him out of his thoughts, and extends his wings a bit more. They gleam under the lights and Koutarou loves the rainbows that shine on them. How anyone couldn't like what starling wings look like is beyond him, they're just so pretty. “It's okay.”

“I don't want to hurt you,” Koutarou insists. His fingers look so big in comparison.

“I'll tell you if you do,” Konoha says, rolling his eyes, and reaches back to pat his leg.

Washio, who's been twitching all his ruffled feathers back into place, snorts. “After the screaming you did at training camp last year with Yamamoto from Nekoma? Don't lie, Konoha, you dig the pain.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Konoha says with a laugh. “Just because you walked in on us-”

“Wait,” Koutarou blurts out, heart pounding. “You're gay?”

“Nah,” Sarukui says with a grin. “Konoha's bi as they get, and he's a magnet for people who want to experiment. It's ridiculous. You were so busy last camp I bet you completely missed him flirting with Nekoma's big middle blocker, huh.”

“You hit on _Kuroo_?” Koutarou laughs, delighted. “Aww, I did miss it!”

“Kuroo's hot, okay,” Konoha mutters, his cheeks flushing red. “I got shot down anyway, he's totally in love with that first year with the long hair.”

Koutarou glances at Akaashi, who's got two small spots of red on his cheekbones. Akaashi glances to him, and looks hopeful. That's good enough for him. 

“Akaashi and I are going out,” Koutarou blurts out, and Washio falls over in shock. Komi shrieks with laughter at Washio, Sarukui splutters, and Konoha whips around to face him.

“No fucking _way_ ,” he groans as Akaashi goes bright red. “You aren't even OUT and you got the hottest guy in school? What the fuck, Bokuto, leave some beauty for the rest of us to ogle at.”

Koutarou feels a bit proud, puffing up, and Akaashi groans and buries his face in his hands.

Things get better after that. Suzume moves apartments to one that's closer to Fukurodani and has a second bedroom, and Koutarou quietly moves some of the things he loves the most there, just in case. The Akaashi family have him over often, and he watches them to learn what a healthy family might be like. Konoha and Sarukui invite them to eat together at lunch, and Koutarou finds himself laughing more and more each day as his heart swells. Akaashi hides his smile as he does ridiculous things to try and impress him and make him laugh.

Together, the second years and Akaashi start building a real team, one that makes Koutarou laugh and smile, one where Akaashi smiles too, one that seems determined to lift him up even if it's an awful day. Akaashi handles his mood swings well, learns his strengths and weaknesses, and Koutarou tells him in one of his rare moments of pure clarity of how bad it gets to manipulate him as needed. Akaashi does not approve of the statement, and flicks his forehead. They improve bit by bit during their nightly training. 

“Y'know, you guys never use each others first names,” Washio mentions one day when they're all stopping for ramen at their favorite spot. Akaashi passes Koutarou a napkin with a bit of a sigh as Koutarou slurps noisily, but Koutarou can hear the fondness under it.

“Yeah we do,” Koutarou says once he's swallowed. Unlike Akaashi, who'll talk with his mouth full and stare you down, _he_ has decent manners even if he does always get a bit messy. Ramen can be challenging. “Don't we, 'Kaashi?”

“We do,” Akaashi confirms. “Just not in public.”

“We're public?” Sarukui says, positively pouting and resting his elbows on the table. “We're not family? Ouch, Akaashi.”

“We even don't say it in front of my actual parents, Sarukui-san, you're not special.”

“Ouch! Bokuto, control your boy.”

Koutarou looks between the two, cocking his head. “Eh?”

Konoha snickers, stealing half an egg from Washio's bowl to Washio's annoyance and Komi's laughter. “Don't worry about it Bokuto, Sarukui's teasing him. Okay, but speaking of beautiful boys-”

“Smooth.”

“-Shut up, Komi. Can we talk about Masaki from Ubugawa, because god _damn_ I think I'm in love. That murder serve of his hit my arms and just about took them off at last practice and I swear I about fell to my knees right there.”

Komi laughs again, propping his chin in his hand. “Masaki could break you in half, Konoha.”

“I know what I'm about, Komi.”

Washio sighs in longing, and gives up as Konoha steals the other half of the egg from his ramen. “Forget Masaki, Miyanoshita is the best thing on the planet. She's so cute, I love her little freckles and her smile and her eyes, ugh.”

Konoha nods in agreement, patting Washio's back. “And so far out of your league, bro.”

“I _know_ ,” Washio whines as Sarukui flags down a waitress for another bowl and Akaashi enthusiastically orders more onigiri. “I mean, like, she's probably got a big bulky boyfriend with a fancy house who does things like take her on dates to expensive restaurants.”

“I don't believe leagues exist,” Koutarou pipes up.

“What?” Sarukui looks interested. “Why not?”

“I'm dating Akaashi. He's like, the definition of out of my league! But we're still dating.”

The others consider this as Akaashi leans slightly against Koutarou's side and their wings press together. Konoha claps Koutarou on the shoulder, his eyes serious. 

“You're an inspiration to us all, Bokuto.”

“Eh?!”

“Fuck it,” Washio says, straightening up. “If Bokuto can land Akaashi, I can ask Miyanoshita on a date.”

“That's the spirit,” Komi cheers. “Fuck yeah bro, stick it to the system.”

“I will!”

“Damn right!” Konoha thumps Washio on the back. “And then ask her if Masaki's single because I want a piece of that action, thanks.”

Akaashi's hand finds Koutarou's under the table, and Koutarou hopes he can play off the red in his face and his smile as just from the heat and how nice it is to have everyone laughing together. They finish dinner and walk away together, splitting up, and Akaashi takes his hand. The weather is getting cooler now, and Akaashi has a soft blue scarf around his throat. It's a pleasant evening, soft and just the right temperature, and Akaashi pulls him off of the road into a park with a smile. Koutarou immediately goes with, seeing the swings and whooping with delight. 

“Push me, Akaashi!”

“Certainly, Bokuto-san.”

Koutarou hops into a swing, and giggles helplessly when Akaashi tips his head back to kiss his forehead. “Akaaaaaashiiiiii...”

Akaashi's smile, his full and happy one, always sends his heart fluttering. Akaashi pushes him, and when he's sufficiently thrilled he launches himself out of the swing, extending his wings to help land. The wind feels amazing through them, these strange vestigial things that he loves so much, and Akaashi is suddenly there. Koutarou catches his face, pressing a kiss to his lips, and Akaashi's smile against his is so wonderful. 

“I love you,” Akaashi whispers, and Koutarou's eyes snap open, jaw dropping.

“Keiji-”

Akaashi's face is red, but he's smiling, and he reaches up to stroke over Koutarou's wings. The feathers fluff up, because Koutarou is weak and loves it when Akaashi strokes through them.

“Can I tell you a secret, Koutarou?”

Koutarou nods, unable to form real words. Keiji steps in close, pressing them chest to chest and hip to hip. 

“I had beautiful, beautiful dove wings for most of my life,” Keiji tells him, fingers burying in the soft feathers. “So big, so well kept, a sign that I was utterly beloved. Last year, I thought I should go and look at the team that I would be joining when I came to Fukurodani. I went to the Spring High. I saw you there. And the next day I started molting.”

Koutarou blinks, not sure where this story is going. Keiji's smile is so soft and so warm. He never wants this moment to end.

“I watched you there on the court, flying even without any help from your wings, strong and keeping up with everyone else, even those with a much higher pedigree of volleyball. You looked so determined, like you were going to win one way or another, even if the team didn't seem to be using your full potential. You were content, but not having fun- not really happy. But I wanted to see you smile, and when you finally did...” Keiji trails off, inhaling and closing his eyes. “Right then, that bight happy smile when you won, I was just... so smitten.”

“Keiji,” Koutarou says, helpless, because that's the most romantic thing he's ever heard.

“Can I tell you something interesting, Koutarou?”

“Anything, Keiji.”

Keiji's arms come up to wrap around his neck, and he kisses him so soft and slow that Koutarou's knees feel like they're going to give out. Koutarou's wings rise, lifting up and spreading wide to match Keiji's, the primaries slotting together to make them a little hollow away from the rest of the world.

Keiji's eyes are so brilliant, so intense in the darkness when he says, “Black vultures mate for life.”

Koutarou melts.

oOo

Koutarou moves in with Suzume during the winter break that year on a Thursday when both of his parents are working. They know what's coming. Once he's out of the house and his parents are home for dinner, he announces that he's got a boyfriend, he's gay, and he doesn't care what they think of him because at least Suzume cares when they don't.

His parents disown them both.

Madara and his wife block them on everything.

Suzume drinks a _lot_ that first week, then throws out all the bottles and holds Koutarou tight when he comes back from a good crying session at the Akaashi's house. Fusazane and Ayumi both love him without holding back, and he likes being there with them. They're normal and good and kind, and he needs that so bad right now. His wings are dull and lacking shine from how awful he feels. But it's good to be held by Suzume, who's a rock even when everything is falling apart. 

“It's gonna be okay,” she says, cradling his head like he's a little child that needs to be held carefully unless he breaks. It fills some empty void in him he hadn't known was there. “We're gonna be okay, right bro?”

“Yeah,” he says, sniffling, because it hurts. It had hurt so much to see the disgust on their faces, it had hurt to hear them scornfully saying how he wasn't worth it after all, how he was to get out and that they never wanted to see him again. It hurts to know that his mother really didn't care, even if he's assumed so for years. It hurts that he knows now that being shamed for everything he does isn't normal, wasn't right, and they still did it. “We'll be okay.”

Konoha hugs him tight when he tells the second year team what happened, and Komi brings him a fuzzy plush owl to make him smile, and Washio teaches him how to dance and makes him laugh because he gets dizzy spinning, and Sarukui drags them all to karaoke to sing their emotions out, and Akaashi...

Beautiful, wonderful Akaashi, he's there for it all. All the self doubt and blame and inward hatred, all the three AM calls about how he doesn't deserve to be loved if even his parents rejected him, all the fear and shame. He's there through it all, and as Spring High approaches Koutarou starts to heal. 

They go up against Shinzen in the qualifying rounds for the Spring High, and Suzume is there in the stands and his new team is there on the court with Manyuda-senpai as their libero, and Akaashi is his setter. The world cannot be more perfect, and his game is perfect. He feels unstoppable with Akaashi and his friends at his side, and his attacks are powerful in a way they've never been before. He discovers that he's smiling, and looks to Akaashi in excitement. Akaashi's face is a perfect mask, as ever, but he can see the delight in his eyes. Akaashi's eyes always give him away, so wonderful and blue. They take the first set, Shinzen takes the second. They get to a duece. Akaashi gets the second to last point with a dump. The crowd is roaring, his name is being called, and Akaashi tosses to him just the way he has so many nights of practice. He hits the ball for a straight with so much force it blasts away three blockers and takes the match. By the time he's falling back to earth, the buzzer is sounding and they're officially on their way to Nationals. He's beaming, he knows it, and Akaashi is yelling in delight, and for once this game has been _fun_. He's so happy he could burst.

Koutarou catches him around the waist, swinging him around, and Akaashi laughs as his wings spread out wide and beautiful behind him as the rest of the team laughs and cheers. He looks up to find Suzume in the crowd, on her feet and screaming too, and he waves at her in excitement. She looks so proud of him, and his heart swells as Konoha tackles him and laughs hysterically before they all get dragged off the court.

They could ride the bus home, but after a treat of soba Koutarou walks hand in hand with Akaashi back toward his new home, where Suzume is waiting. Akaashi leans against him, still smiling wide, and interjects here and there as Koutarou replays the match. His mouth can't stop moving, and he keeps knocking their heads together even though he knows Akaashi's right there. 

“It felt so good! It was so much fun! I haven't ever had that much fun, it was great! Akaashi, did you see?!”

Akaashi pulls him to a stop under a lamplight, his cheeks rosy from the cold and laughter, his bobble hat pulled down tight, and pulls Koutarou in for a kiss. Koutarou goes willingly, wrapping his arms around him tight, and he nuzzles their noses together to make Akaashi giggle. Akaashi only shows all his emotions so openly when they're alone together, leaving the rest of the world to think that he's some serene deity, but Koutarou knows the truth and that's the best bit about all of it.

“I'm happy you finally had fun, Koutarou,” Keiji says, and Koutarou beams. Keiji's smile in return is so happy, and he leans in for another quick kiss. “That's the smile I always want to see on the court.”

“Hey, Keiji?” 

Akaashi's smile is warm and kind, and Koutarou wants to spend eternity looking at it. “Yes?”

“Can I tell you an interesting thing I learned?!”

Akaashi cups his face in his hands, and kisses his nose. “You definitely can, Koutarou.”

Koutarou's smile is big and wide as he spreads his wings, shaking them out so they fan wide behind him, and wraps Keiji in them to pull him tight up against him. “Great horned owls mate for life, too.”

Keiji's smile is blinding, and they walk home hand in hand after a great amount of kissing.

Koutarou has to agree with the Keiji of so many months ago. The universe definitely gave him the right wings.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a C R I M I N A L lack of wing!fic in this fandom so by god I'm going to add some to it.
> 
> Comments keep me alive and kicking! If you liked this please do leave a comment on what you thought! I had a lot of fun writing this. I saw a comic about Akaashi crushing first and BAM inspiration. 
> 
> In other news, I've had a hopeless fascination with vultures since I was in the second grade and playing behind my house and met one for the first time when it landed on the rock next to where I was playing. You haven't known fear until you've looked a bird the same size as you in the eye. On the other hand, vultures are very smart and will bring you shiny things if you bring them offerings. I had a weird childhood.


End file.
